And if by ham sammich you mean “As far away from me as you can get”, I’m on it JD.
Not that I like to present myself as a raging feminist or a ‘Boo-Mainstream Music’ hipster, but sometimes one needs to sacrifice one’s dignity for the greater good. The greater good being, in this case, hopefully, making you guys laugh/ponder what these catchy songs on the radio are *actually* saying. Or maybe just wonder “How much freetime does this chick *really* have?” Some of the lyrics I’m about to present to you are offensive, so fasten your seat belts kids. Prepare for misogyny, stupidity, and foul language. Also please don’t pick at the gum under your seats. And no kicking the seat of the person in front of you (you know who you are.)
Move far, far away from people who write these songs, right? Great! Thanks for the tip!
(Wiggle, Jason Derulo ft. Snoopdog)
What if I back my car into you? Is that the same sort of thing?
(Blurred Lines, Robin Thicke ft. Pharell and topless women.)
This one is just plain stupid. (So sorry if you’re someone who can appreciate the subtleties and genius in Kanye’s music, but I just can’t ride that boat with you. Thanks for letting me finish.)
(I’m In It, Kanye West)
NAILED IT SO HARD. Wait, wait, gurrrrrl where you goin’? STUPID HOE? IS THAT BETTER?? *sulks*
(Sexy Bitch, David Guetta ft. Akon and misogyny)
(So Yesterday, Hillary Duff)
Actually not a bad analogy, just a weird one, and one that makes me, a die hard cake advocate, very, very sad.
(MacArthur Park, Jimmy Web)
OMG I ~*love*~ cute pet names! Can I call you No Decency? ❤
(Birthday Song, 2 Chainz)
And finally, my favorite one:
(Dance Ass, Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj)
I’ll leave it at that.