Adventures in ̶H̶E̶L̶L̶ Closet Overhauling




This is a story of hope, perseverance, and success. Grab your tissues.

Yes. It is real. My Black Hole of a closet has been transformed into a sunny and styled place for clothes (!!!). I’m sure some of you have been the owners of a closet that has more closely resembled a portal to the underworld than somewhere nice  to hang your clothes. Or at least I hope you have because I’ve been telling myself I’m not alone…I just threw EVERYTHING in my closet and went in and out as quickly as humanly possible to get my clothes. It’s scientifically proven that if you don’t spend much time looking at a mess, it doesn’t exist…NOT. I can’t remember how long it was like that, but it was ridiculous. I eventually had enough of it, and thus begins the journey I am here to tell you about today.

It happened over the course of a few months…first I cleaned that sucker out and went through my clothes VERY meticulously. There would not be anything in there I did not wear on a regular basis. There were piles of closet vomit  all over my room for about a week while I went through everything and threw out/gave away over half of my clothing. It was crazy. It went from the left hand mess to this:


Not too shabby, but there were still clothes in there I never wore, and somewhere along the line I got in in my head that yellow chevron would be cool to try in my closet.  I had all the paint I needed from a previous banana-yellow-explosion kitchen adventure, it was a small space, and how hard could chevron be really? 

REALLY HARD. And REALLY TEDIOUS. Especially if you’re impatient like me,  and unwilling to follow the nice guides that Better Homes and Gardens kindly posts on their site for you to use. Pshhhh, you say to yourself, I can do that $#!&  freehand! Move over Martha Stewart! Last weekend, I figured, would be a super time to start this little project, and once again, my room was filled with piles of closet vomit


Then, I painted over the blue and green with not one, not two, but THREE coats of white paint. I used almost all I had, and boy was I not prepared to slap three coats on those walls. I thought I could be done with that in an hour. HAHAH. Silly me.

Three hours later…


By this point, I was beginning to regret my decision to get this done in two days. Now my closet looked boring, I couldn’t just leave it like that. Plus, my clothes were all over my bed, and by Zeus’s beard, I was going to get them back in that closet TONIGHT.
HAHAHA again! I grabbed a ruler and tried to evenly space points and lines in a zigzag format on the walls, but it turned out to be completely unnecessary because it wasn’t going to be perfect chevron anyway. Really all it accomplished was smudging my white walls with graphite. With the promise of at least another hour of taping, two coats of yellow, and a butt ton of touch-ups in my future, I forged on, like so:



Dead inside and angry at the world. And the corners of my closet, where I would have to do brushwork. This may sound like a dramatized retelling of the tale, but alas, it is true to the very last word.

So, the touch ups ensued, and the ripping off of tape, cleaning up of paint splatters, and the F%^& it, I’m freehand taping the second wall without pencil adventures followed. Finally, I was DONE the chevroning. DONNNEEE. FORRREVERRR. *eye twitch*


Seems like a happy ending right? Not quite yet.

I put my clothes back into my closet, only to realize that if you were standing in front of the closet, as one does when selecting clothing, you couldn’t even see the chevron on the side walls, and it looked like all I did was paint it white. I sank to my knees in despair and vowed to paint the back wall yellow next weekend. The following week passed slowly and with a ridiculous head cold that gave me zombie eyes (you know what I’m talking about, when they’re all drippy and irritated and everyone keeps asking you what’s wrong, to which you politely answer Oh gee, it must be all the pot I’m smoking, and nobody can tell if you’re serious or not (I wasn’t))

Then I re-emptied my closet for what I hope to be the last time for many moons, and painted two coats of yellow on the back wall. I only put the clothes I had worn in the past month back in the closet, eliminating probably another fourth of my unnecessarily large wardrobe. I’m very happy with the results. All of the work (most of it needlessly created my by stupidly impatient self) was worth it.



SO PRETTY! RIGHT?!?! Except for the small mess in the corner, this is such a huge improvement from the horrible mess that was my closet a few months ago. And really, I have these four CDs to thank for my sanity.


Lorde, Eric Hutchinson, Owl City, and AWOLNATION, I love all of you.

So, moral of the story, do your painting with patience, and don’t be afraid to tackle that really messy corner of your home this spring. Trust me, if I can do it, you can do it. And for the love of all things good in this world, and your sanity, do it to a really great playlist.

Happy spring cleaning!!



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